A physician. Mid-forties. Attractive. Complex. Difficult.

Hugo's research assistant. Intelligent. Pretty. Thirty-seven years old.

A handsome Black physician. Hugo's long suffering friend and colleague

Hugo's sister. A gentle soul. Free style evangelist.

Hugo's estranged wife. Fading looks. A recent feminist

Hugo's daughter. Independent. Edits a women's health newsletter

Scene l

Location: Scene 1 takes place in Hugo's office--consisting mainly of a large and handsome desk, a swivel chair behind the desk and two chairs for patient and spouse, friend etc., a file cabinet, a sculpture of a nude female,a plant stand with a hearty philodendrum,and phone.

Lights up on Hugo and Norma working together at the doctor's desk.

(looking through a folder)

Are they all here?

We don't have the lab reports back on Jack Stevens, Ruben Goldstein,and the Swede- what's his name-

The Swede, what's his name-- is Arthur Olafson. Have you called to see what's holding them up?

(a trifle impatiently) Yes- two hours ago. They're short- handed. Lovenia's up in delivery. Maybe she's alreaady had her baby.

I haven't the slightest interest in that woman's procreative doings.

How could you forget? Roger, her husband, was one of your firsts-

(begins looking through the folder) Last name. What's his last name?

(looks up at ceiling) O.K.--Roger Bellangelo.

Bellangelo (smiles) And was he a beautiful angel?

I think so. He has to be in the folder-

(looks in folder and finds his notes) I don't find him in the folder but I do see that he was treated with placebos-

Who gets credit for baby-- Bellangelo, you or God?

Science or me. Select one but leave God out of it.

I'm taking the fifth on the grounds that I still need this job. (looks at her watch) Sorry, I have to quit early.

What could possibly be more important than treating men with sperm deficiencies?

Getting married. I have to meet Shepard in the lobby in twenty minutes. We're going for our blood tests

(controlling irritation) Marry in haste--repent immediately after.

Eight months is hardly "in haste."

Christ, what can you possibly know about another human being in eight months? And why go through all that wedding carnival when it'll all be over in three years-

And how is it that you're still married after twelve years? (pause) I want children, Norman Rockwell family dinners, Thanksgiving at Grandma's-

Do my ears deceive me? Snotty noses--diapers heavy with feces--sour vomit on your best clothes and yowling while you're trying to get a few minutes desperately needed sleep-- everlastingyowling until your nerves snap.

I don't sense the proper respect for our research- Why motherhood now?

I have a now or never feeling-

In the animal kingdom it's called "heat." You probably call it love.

I'd like to help with your lust problem--but I'm a married man with a spotless reputation.

(she laughs)Reputation? What reputation are you talking about-- politics or the priesthood?

And what about your reputation? You'll be an adjunct to Shepherd Cummings of Cummings Compuers. How easily you dump the freedom maddened feminists fought so earnestly for-

I'll be a super-intelligent wife and mother. You can't persuade me to change my mind.

(a bit sadly) I suppose your notice is merely a matter of days-

(starts towards door- stops turns around)

Probably a matter of a few weeks, Hugo. I'm terribly sorry but Shepard thinks our marriage should start serenely. I'll start moving my stuff out next week.(leaves)

(Stunned. Angrily throws the folder to the floor. Roams about the office muttering)

She's gone around the bend. The fuckin' whore bitch--our chemistry was nearly perfect. That bastard Shepherd should be castrated.

(falls into chair)I have to stop her-

(recovering slightly-- dials phone) Lilac?

Hi, Lilac. It's me--Hugo.

Yes--it's me.

Of course, you can't hear me. Get your multi-ethnic brats to shut up.

What's wrong?! I'm suicidal. Norma's leaving--getting married-- wants babies. She's in heat. Lost her mind.

I don't want a replacement. Do you have a replacement?

(flatly) I'm thrilled that you love me. Did you ever consider incest, Lilac? In our case, it wouldn't really be incest since you're Natalie's and Rupert's flesh and blood and I was adopted earlier when they thought they were barren. Then you were born. They called you their miracle baby.

Don't hang up on me. I don't care if young Jennifer peed in her drawers-

You'll pray for me? You'll pray for me?! I'm kicked in the gut miserable and you say you'll pray for me.

(gentler) Thanks,Lilac. Tonight would be perfect. Veronica won't be home. I think there's some kind of frigid women's club meeting.

(hangs up phone. Opens desk drawer and takes out a glass and half empty bottle of Scotch whiskey. Pours himself a glass full and drinks it quickly. Puts the bottle and glass back into the drawer. Closes his eyes--pushes chair back and reclines.)

(knocks on door and enters)

No one's outside- Where's your assistant?

She's disappeared. Do you know what that little bitch whore just told me--She's leaving to get married.

(pulls up and sits on the chair beside the desk)

Just like that? With no previous warning?

A while back I did overhear her talking with the girl across the hall about some boyfriend--but I never thought she was seriously considering marriage.

Nothing much you can do about it, old man.(silence) I thought I might see Norma and discuss changing her mother's medication- You O.K.?

(bitterly) Superb. Listen, what about a little drink? (takes out two glasses from his desk drawer and a bottle of Scotch whiskey)

Hold that thought. Not here. After we lock up we can stop in at Ye Olde English Pub-

No "Ye Olde". I mean right now.

Can't, old man. Not now. I still have two patients in the waiting room-

How many patients a day are you cramming in? I mean- new patients.

No more than four new ones. But you can't gauge how long any one of them will take. Also, one can't anticipate the emergency room pop-ins. I've told Sally no more than four news and six returns. Lots of days I'm here until seven--eight o'clock-

Mark my words, Ruben, if you keep following the white man's ways, you're going to drop dead in the elevator one day soon and leave your beautiful wife a widow and five children fatherless.

Thanks for your paternal advice-(stands)

I don't like to drink alone. (pours whiskey into glass and extends it to Ruben)

Really, no thanks-- can't be examining patients reeking of booze-

Christ, Schwartz--I'm bleeding. I need to talk with a friend.

(studies him) hmm.

(sits stiffly on edge of chair- poised for a quick get-away)

O.K., then call Sally and tell her I'll be held up at your office for a few minutes. She can calm the restless-

Oh, fuck Sally. Say, did you ever fuck Sally?

(angrily gets up) Look, I can't stop a busy practice to indulge in your filthy fantasies.

A thousand pardons, black god of science. How did you, a gentleman of the ebony race, get a name like Schwartz?

Your question smells of racism which I'll overlook. Also, I think I've told you my geneology before. Listen, for the last time- I was born Elijah Benjamin Harrison. When I was seventeen, my mother changed it to Mohammed Abdul-Medjid. In my junior year at Booker T., for a lark I took the name Ruben Schwartz. My life and luck improved amazingly so I had it legally changed to Schwartz. (starts to get up)

That's fascinating as hell, Schwartz. As a kid did you go to one of those fundamentalist churches and partake of all that rousing gospel singing? I would almost adopt Christ if I could get into some of that great spirit-

(stands) I really have to get back. And don't adopt Jesus just for the gospel singing-

Just one minute. Were your parents loving? It makes a difference in a person's life-

PHONE

(answers)Huguenot-

Sally! How sweet of you to call.

(Ruben goes to the door)

Yes, he was here but now he's on his way back. How many people in the waiting room are having cerebral bleeds?

(hands on doorknob)

Listen, Huguenot, as a friend, I sincerely recommend you consult Dave Buckle or one of the other shrinks- (leaves)

(Hugo puts head into hands)

Sweet Jesus, how can I keep Norma from leaving?

(Lights dim to dark)

(One hour later)

(pours himself another drink)

--only my third --

(dials phone) Ethel? Is that you Ethel?

Yes--Dr. Huguenot. How long do I have to wait for Jim Carabillo's lab results?

I specifically recall marking it "rush"--or, does rush mean something different in your language?

Listen, Ethel--I'm not in the least interested in the vague problems of your employees. I want that report on my desk in twenty minutes-(slams phone down. Gets up and paces about- kicks waste basket over in fit of temper. Irritated by the mess, picks up all the bits of paper and puts them back onto the basket)

(enters cautiously) Hugo? Darlin? Are you terribly busy?

(genuinely pleased) What a nice surprise-

(takes his hand) I'm worried, Brother. You sounded so at the end of your rope- Am I right?

Yes-- and the rope's around my neck. One thought cheers me. I can always get a contract made on that flatulent swine, Shepherd Cummings. Surely, somewhere there's a heroin addict who needs a hundred dollars-

(still holding his hand) No- I don't want you nursing such hatred, darlin' It puts a boil in your heart.

(pulls his hand away) What's more I'm savouring the image of Norma wearing widow's weeds-

Did she go and get married?

Who the hell knows what a woman in heat will do-

(rearranges items on his desk--the letter opener, paper weight etc)

It just occurs to me that you must have left work early to come here. Is this your day off from healing?

No, but I could never be deaf to your cry for help-

O.K., Lilac, weave your hocus pocus magic-

You have to know that I left Ruby in charge of the little ones and rushed right over. (gives him a quick gentle hug) I love you with all my heart. Do you know that?

Yes, yes I know that. Thanks Lilac. Now tell me why my wife can't manage five minutes of loving concern?

Veronica's in a different place now. You have to give her space-

I don't give space. The simpering fool's going away to Radcliffe--reading books, attending lectures, posing as a thinker--wearing jeans. Have you seen Veronica's ass in jeans? (extends bottle) Anesthesia?

No, thank you to liquor. Every wicked thing you say makes you sadder and sicker, darlin'- Only perfect peace gives you happiness.

Perfect peace means comatose or dead. Mary tells me that Veronica's discovering herself through a young lover. Veronica's too old to be in heat- Why am I surrounded by women in heat?

You can't take what Mary says seriously. Daughters compete with their mothers for daddy's attention.

I take that Freudian shit with a grain of salt. And I can't believe you're quoting it. I hope Veronica files for divorce. I loathe married life--all that enforced sociability-

(sing songs)What God has joined together-

(moans) Oh, go away, Lilac.

(looking at her watch) Don't worry, Brother, I really have to go. Please promise me you won't drink that awful soul poison any more.(silence) You going anywhere special after work?

(perking up a bit) As a matter of fact, I'm going to see my accountant. I'd like to get some money into oil exploration. When all hell breaks loose, I'll have money in wind mills, gold, grains, stocks, certificates and four parcels of real estate. You have to diversify your holdings, Lilac. Opps, pardon--I forgot. You have no holdings. In the grip of saintly communism, you're giving your piddling inheritance to the poorest of the poor and that crazed preacher charlatan.

(quotes)Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth where moth and rust doth corrupt and where thieves break through and steal-

Spare me the Bad Book. Remember, your parents disinherited me. Remember also that I earned every penny to put myself through school. I took every stinking job and a few shocking and revolting- Never mind. Run along.

And I'm proud of you-

O.K., but don't sneer at my rusting treasures. If it weren't for those treasures, my wife would be forced to sell her plump, sagging body for college tuition and my cello-plying, film-making daughter would have to clean houses for rent money.

(stands and kisses him on his forehead) Oh, darlin' you only think you provide. That's your vanity. (starts to leave) I'll be at your apartment later tonight.

(calls after her) Don't take any wooden Christians- (kicks over the waste basket. Pours himself another drink and gloomily drinks)

Time: Two years later.

Lights up in Hugo's apartment. This room is a combination library and living room decorated in stark, black and white contemporary furnishings with purple touches. In the library area there is a tea wagon containing liquor bottles and glasses plus a bucket with ice.

Veronica wears a red cotton sweater and faded jeans. She's busily packing books, papers, folders etc. into a cardboard carton. Hugo, more formally dressed, wears dark slacks, white button down shirt and navy silk tie. He morosely watches.

The Neanderthal who conceived of educating women should everlastingly burn in hall. Now every half-wit female wants to become Speaker of the House or the president of World Wide Communications-

(almost dreamily, slightly regretfully) When you and I were married twenty-three years ago, we were deeply in love--that love lasted fourteen months. Everything after that was a hypocritical lie-

Correction. When we were married I was madly in love with you--but you, it turns out, were in love with my degree in medicine. To you it represented a magic pass-key to a fouteen room mansion, a Rolls Royce, a maid and two cleaning women, designer clothes, French and English antiques and most important of all--prominent people--all of which I more or less provided-

Your wounded indignation amazes me. Haven't you dreamed about, had silly affairs, and then loudly and publically prayed for our divorce?

Is that the gospel according to Veronia? I could better accept it if you weren't leaving me for that unwashed vulgar tugboat captain. After the life you've enjoyed, I can't picture you in all that squalor.

Appearances still mean everything to you--something I outgrew. In your perverse way I know you'd be happy if I left you for an important diplomat.

(tries lifting the carton. Finding it quite heavy- puts it down)

That's too heavy for you. Why don't you split it into two boxes? And don't forget to take your current bible,"Medicine from God's Garden."

I don't have another carton. Besides, Mary was supposed to be here to help me-

Why can't your seafaring tugboat captain help you move? Or doesn't he work on land?

(leans against the sofa)

Anthony's working. He has a group of insurance executives out on the boat for deep sea fishing. They're hoping to land a giant marlin.

I hope they all drown and I suppose once you're man and wife, you'll swab the decks, gut fish and such-like-

He's not like that. Anthony is one of the most intelligent and sensitive men I've ever met.

(Hugo begins taking off his tie and shirt)

I suppose the major attraction of this two-bit Hemingway is his performance in the sack--undoubtedly giving you three rapid fire orgasms-sending you pole vaulting over the headboard-

Pole volting orgasms aren't the centerpiece of my life.

Ah, a new Veronica. I seem to recall feminist tracts on the essentials of orgasm and instructions on masturbation for fun. Please take those dirty books with you-

(goes to the bookcase and looks for them)

I don't see them. Have you packed them already?

(returns to couch and reclines on his back)

If your conversion wasn't bad enough, you had to corrupt our daughter. Is your tugboat captain a subscriber to radical feminism?

(sits opposite him)

He's not a card carrying feminist but he understands the need for sweetness. He doesn't verbally bully and belittle me all day long and then tap me on the shoulder for intercourse.

(sits up to protest)

Unjust--unjust Who instigated every argument?

Too late for autopsies, Hugo. Rejoice. I'm leaving.

There's nothing joyful in watching my wife of twenty plus years running off with an uncouth tugboat captain at the first sign of menopause-

(stands and stretches)

You know what would be nice?

I can't possibly imagine. What?

A farewell vodka martini for two.

I'll make the drinks but I drink with a broken heart.

(goes to tea wagon and makes two martinis. Has two sips of his drink and returns to couch. Hands Veronica her drink)

(holds up her glass) O.K. here's to happier new horizons-

You'll understand if I don't drink to that- I was used to the old horizons.

(sips her drink) Oh, Hugo- don't pretend you're suffering from a broken heart. For the past five years you've secretly yearned for your assistant--Norma-what's-her-name. I'll never understand why the two of you didn't escape to some ivory tower and conduct live sperm experiments.(comes closer to him on couch)

Stay away. I don't want to catch your vulgarity. You know very well that Norma's been happily married for two or three years.

No, I didn't know. Since when? (returns to her former chair)

(more friendly - as in old times) Oh, about the same time that Mary went off to college.

Well, I don't blame the girl for marrying. Anyone could see that she walked around with such moon eyes over you, Hugo--the all time love cripple.

I don't understand you. Did you want me to ignore our marriage vows and openly begin an affair?

(finishes her drink and returns to packing. Makes a pile of several books)

Don't pretend there were no other affairs.(pause) I'll pack these another time.

(puts his glass down on coffee table, goes to the window-- moodily stares out)

Are we going to share custody of Mary?

Stop being silly. Mary's an independent young woman now. You've been a rotten example to her with your love-hate vacillations-(prepares to leave)

(calls after her) You're going to get cancer-

(at the door--cheefully calls back)

Despite all your sick wishes, Hugo--mother still loves you-(exits)

(finishes drink- makes himself another. Sips.)

(mutters)

She's not my damn mother.

(consults phone book and dials. paces about straightening paintings)

Hello, yourself, Norma.

Are you busy doing wifely things?

Me? I'm celebrating Veronica's departure.

Departure means leaving. She's divorcing me despite the fact that she loves me like a mother-

I have no wish to further plumb Veronica's tortured psyche. Listen, the reason that I called is I can't locate that book by Webster on diminished spermatozoa count for welders and other factory workers.

I looked there first. Could you stop by the office- I'd really appreciate it.(hangs up phone)

scene 1

Lights up on Hugo lying on the couch with a pillow over his face.

Come in Mary. Where else would I be?

(kisses Hugo on the cheek.looking about)

Mom here yet?

Left a couple of hours ago. Why don't you stay and have supper with me-

No thanks, Dad. I'm having a vegetarian dinner with Pam and Kim-- After that, I have to answer the phone at the Rape Crisis Center.

Any good rapes lately?

Dad, how can you be so flip about rape?

Oh, how soon they forget.

What? Forget what?

Don't you remember how I was hailed all over the feminist globe.

You're deliberately obscure. Hailed all over the feminist globe for what?

The piece I wrote for the Wall Street Journal titled, "Rape and the Economy."

I do remember- I was a senior in high school and I was so proud.

(goes to the box of books and studies the ones which remain)

Maybe I'll stay a little while and do some packing for Mom. There must be boxes in the storage room-

(happy now) I know there are boxes in the storage room--boxes your mother has forgotten. Mom's in lost in lust now.

Mom's in love. Give her a break.

Alright--but who'll give me a break? Anyway, you go find boxes for this crap.

Stop being furious with Mom --and fix us some supper-

(starts to leave)

Aren't you going to call the rape rescue girls to tell them you'll be late?

Sure--after we have supper. I'll ask Sophie to handle the phone-

(puts his drink down)

We have frozen ravioli--fried chicken- (calls) Mary, do you want ravioli or fried chicken?

(silence)

(finishes his drink)

No answer. Then I'll decide-

(enters carrying a large box. Puts it down by the other box)

(calls) Dad, were you asking me something?

(Mary studies a pack of picture postcards)

Oh, for heaven's sake--Boothbay Harbor- Santa's Work Shop- The Bay of Fundy...Oh, they were such fun times-(silence)

(comes in pale and shaken) Mary, I just had the most unsettling episode of head pain. My legs are like rubber-(lies on couch)

(alaramed) I'm going to call Ruben. Is his number in your red book?

(hand covering closed eyes)

Don't call Ruben. It's probably nothing more than anxiety. Thanks to Norma and your mother-

I know--it's really been too much- Do you feel like eating?

No- but you must. There are two fried chicken dinners in the oven-

I'm afraid to leave you.(pause) No- I'm calling Ruben. (starts to go to phone)

(weakly) Mary, for the love of God don't call Ruben. The man's a urologist. I know what he'll say. Let's eat some supper first. O.K.?

I know Ruben's a urologist but he's also your good friend. Anyway, I'll put together a little salad and I know that you always have chocolate cake in the freezer-(forcing cheerfulness) It'll be a like a party-

Scene 2

Time: Two months later.

Scene: Hugo's apartment. Hugo lies on couch reading the manuscript of his book.

(knock on door)

Come in- The door isn't locked-

(slowly lets herself in) How's the patient doing?

(concealing surprise and pleasure) Taking nourishment by mouth. I'm delighted by your visit but puzzled by your reluctance to discuss why over the phone-

Mainly, I wanted to see how you were doing with my own eyes.

And now what have your eyes discovered?

You look better than I imagined. Are you going to be alright? What does Dr. Schwartz say?

Take your coat off and stay a minute-

(Norma removes coat, folds it in half and puts if on a chair)

What does Ruben ever say? Platitudes. (holds up his liquor glass) Madeira?

(sits on chair beside him) No drink, thanks-

Hasn't marriage to old Shep driven you to drink yet?

(places manuscript on side table. Pours Madeira into his glass)

Very well, then I'll have a little Madeira myself- (settles back in couch)

(studying him) You don't seem to have any speech problems or paralysis-

Of course not. Who ever told you I had a stroke?

I think it was Evelyn who works on the pediatric floor-

Evelyn? Evelyn? The woman's an imbecile who doesn't know me. In my whole life I don't think there have been more than three sentences between us. Believe me, all I had was some kind of ischemic thing- I'm fine except for a dozen other things-

Do you have any coffee?

(starts to get up) Yes- I'll get it-

Sit. I'm not totally inept in a kitchen-

(goes to kitchen)

(puts the manuscript of his book on a side table)

(calls) Did you find the coffee and mugs?

(comes in rather cautiously carrying a mug of coffee)

I found everything. Now I'm all set for a long visit.

(happy but awkward in this new situation)

Did you prefer decaffinated coffee?

(sipping) No, this is fine.(silence) How's the new girl working out?

This one smells of gray fungus.

(laughs) Gray fungus?! People don't smell of fungus. Do they?

This one does. I wish you'd tell me how this moron can pretend to have worked in a lab when she doesn't even know basic hygiene-

You always exaggerate.

I'm not a religious man but I pray she gets pregnant and has to leave-

I'm surprised you haven't fired her- Why don't you get someone else?

She's the third. After you, I had a cute little blonde who was preoccupied every minute with a pro football quarterback-- After her--a physically ugly, overly ambitious one who left me.

(stands) Changed my mind. I believe I'll have that drink after I return this to the kitchen-(leaves)

(calls out)I hope you like Madeira-

(Hugo gets a small liquor glass and pours the Madeira into it and adds a bit to his own glass)

(returns. She stands before him)

I have some news- (accepts the glass)

Good news or bad news? Don't tell me you're with child-

I'm not pregnant. Shep and I are moving to Belgium. Is that good news or bad?

(stunned and angry) What do you want from me--a benediction?

A benediction would be nice.

Well, I don't easily toss around benedictions. (knock at door) Great! That's probaly old Shep coming to drag you away from the nasty old doctor- (calls out) Come in.

(enters) Isn't this nice--I mean, seeing you, Norma- (to Hugo) Brother, I'm sorry I didn't call first. Am I interruptin'? (hands him a packet of mail) I brought in your mail-(Hugo takes and puts it on the table beside him without examination).

Think nothing of it. You're not interrupting anything but continuous desertion and betrayal.

Oh, I'm so terribly sorry. What can we do?

Don't let him upset you. Hugo's dramatizing, as usual. I just told him that Shep and I are moving to Belgium.

Oh, that's awful far away- I can see why he's so depressed-

I wish you two would stop talking about me as if I weren't here or dead. (Lilac gasps) Lilac, please settle on a chair somewhere, You're making me nervous.

(sits beside Hugo on the couch)

(to Norma) I guess you're probably going for your husband's business. Right?

Well, yes--partly. And I really have to get far away to sort out some things in my mind-

Rather late in the game to be sorting things out--isn't it?

Brother, it's never too late for finding yourself and it's never too late for finding God.

How many times have I asked you, Lilac, to keep God out of my house-

Oh, Hugo- lighten up. Would you like it better if Lilac said "find love" instead of "find God"?

How did sex and violence get into the conversation?

(uncomfortable--looks at watch) I have to get going.

(puts on coat.Hugo stands to help her)

(assists her with her coat)See how well I perform simple tasks--ignoring illness, betrayal and abandonment-

It's not betrayal or abandonment, Doctor. I'll send you a postcard when we get settled-

(takes Norma's hand) I just know you're going to have the best time. And don't you worry about Hugo. I'm going to watch him like a mama hen watches her baby chick.

(groans, clutches head) Oh, Lilac- spare us the baby chick and mama hen analogies-

Hugo, you never did know when you had a good thing. You should appreciate having such a caring sister-

(goes to the door, turns to Hugo)

Will you answer if I write?

I strongly doubt it-

(Norma throws a kiss and leaves)

(An hour later. Hugo is lying on the couch with his eyes closed. Lilac flutters about tidying the place.)

Lilac, did you ever see anything like her?

You mean, Norma? I'm sorry you're hurting, Brother.

I was born hurting. I suspect it had something to do with being born the rubbish can bastard no one loved enough to keep-

(begins going through the mail and throwing certain pieces on the floor--reciting as he does)

Junk mail, junk mail, requests for money, junk mail, requests for money, junk mail, request for money-

Wait a minute. What's this? Something from Jock McPhee, M.D. What the devil does that television charlatan want?

(opens letter and reads in silence a moment)

Is he the one they call "The Good Family Doctor"?

Listen, (reads) As you have more than a passing acquaintance with the subject of sterility, I humbly ask that you read the manuscript of my latest book especially focusing on the subject of sterility in chapters four through nine. You should receive the m.s.in a few days. And I also beg a complimentary statement for advertisng purposes. (leaps up) Do you believe the stone balls of this fucking lunatic?!-

(sits beside him her hand on his shoulder)

Brother, brother--you're getting way too emotional. Why don't you just accept his success as your own. I promise God will bless you for it--you'll see-

(hands to sides of his head) Lilac, please- you're making me violently nauseated. This son-of-a-syphilitic whore wrote a book with several chapters on my subject, my subject. This is no coincidence. Norma probably mentioned that I was writing a book on male sterility-(pours himself Scotch and drinks) Lilac, I have nothing, nada--absolutely black nothing.

Hugo,I'm seriously worried about you- (goes to phone) I'm calling Mary-

(sinking into the couch) Don't, don't call Mary. She's busy doing something with those hysterical viragos. On Mondays--holistic health, Tuesdays- feminist poetry readings, Wednesdays--vegetarian pot luck suppers- And she's doing something called assertiveness training which I suspect you disaprove of- Christ, I wish she'd improve her appearance and snag herself a husband-

Stop that crazy talk. (silence) Darling,do you want us to form a prayer circle for you?

From the bottom of my heart, please- don't.

It works, Hugo. Just yesterday I prayed for two small things and my prayers were immediately answered. Immediately. If you refuse a prayer circle,you can go into a closet and pray. Jesus, said that- I'm not sure if it's in the St. James version or not-

(laughs) In the closet- is it? I'm afraid, Lilac, your faith is pure self-delusion--lacks lustre--like dried dog shit-

I'm sorry you have such ugly bad thoughts, hon. Our group is going to pray for you anyway.

You'll be praying against my will. God won't listen.

See you said that God won't listen. That means you believe.(pause) Do you have any cheese in the refrigerator?

Yeah, two or three different kinds. Help yourself.

Would you like me to make you a grilled cheese sandwich?

No thanks. Grief blocks up the esophagus.

(Lilac leaves)

(Hugo picks the mail up from the floor)

(mutters) Leeches, parasites,and dung eaters-

(returning and munching a wedge of cheese)

I love Stilton. Is this real English Stilton?

I suppose- Does it really matter?

Did you ever tell Norma that you love her?

What?

I said, did you ever tell Norma that you love her?

Where did you get the insane idea that I was in love with my assistant?

(sits in chair opposite Hugo)

You didn't have to say anything. A person can tell chemistry.

Oh, it's chemistry, is it? What did her chemistry tell you?

I don't know about Norma but it would be a miracle if she saw through your shouting and vile cursing. (gets up) Thanks for the cheese-

You're not leaving-- are you?

I have to, darling. The little ones need constant attention. But- you always come first. (seaching in her handbag) If I leave you the prayer for helpers and healers--will you read it?

No. I was under the impression that I am a healer-

(as she's leaving) You can't be a healer with Satan's thoughts- (leaves)

April. Hugo's office. Hugo, in a wheelchair, stares dejectedly out the window.

(phone)

(answers) Huguenot here-

Listen, Ruben, you never told me you were going to the urological conference in Miami-

Naturally, I'm not overjoyed at the prospect of looking after your prostates in your absence-

It's not a definite "no". It's a definite maybe. Ask me tomorrow. Today, I'm eaten up with anger. (hangs up the phone)

(Takes a bottle of Scotch from the desk drawer--pours into glass--about half full and sips. Takes a gun from the file cabinet--aims and suddenly shoots his diploma on the opposite wall. Finishes drink.)

Hey, how's that for marksmanship?

(enters- alarmed) I heard what sounded like- (sees the gun in his hand) Daddy- what are you doing?!

Target practice (shoots the mirror on the opposite wall) and destruction of mister ego-

(cautiously approaches Hugo) Daddy, will you give me the gun? Please-

(phone)

Oh, shit. I probably have to answer- (puts the gun down on the desk) (answers)

Huguenot-

What do you mean, you think you heard a shot?

No, Manfred--it's quiet as death here.

You've been looking at too many crotches, Manfred. I have to go- My precious daughter's visiting.

Goodbye Manfred. Happy vaginas.

(takes the gun and puts it in her pocketbook) You can have the gun when I think you're healthier in mind and spirit.

And when did you get a license to practice psychiatry?

A person doesn't need a medical degree to see that you're not well--to put it kindly. Do you have a brush and dust pan-

What on earth for?

-to sweep up all those pieces of glass. Suppose one of your patients cuts himself and sues you for every penny--

(studying him with narrowed eyes)

You look pale and old to me. You need to close up shop and go on a cruise. Ask Ruben Schwartz if he'll cover for you-

I'm not going on a cruise and I'm not asking Schwartz for anything. The more successful he becomes, the less black he gets. And don't say I'm being racist. You forget that I took a black girl to my senior prom and proposed marriage but she said I was too young and too white.

(goes to closet- brings out a dust pan and sweeps up the broken glass)

Ruben Schwartz is the sweetest man on earth. And I still say you don't look healthy-

I think the weight loss has given my face interesting planes. Don't you agree?

You've always been very attractive. I wish I had your striking looks--but women rely too much on sex appeal.

Sex appeal is a curious expression. (starts rummaging in his desk drawers) Someone stole my demerol-

Who'd steal your demerol? You're not seeing patients anymore-

Cripples depress people. I still see a few of my favorites. Sit and let me admire your new hairdo- Does it mean you've found a boyfriend?

(sighs) I'm glad you like the hairdo. It doesn't indicate a new or old boyfriend. My identity isn't completed with a boyfriend. I was just sick of the old look-

PHONE

(wheels himself to the phone)

(answers) Huguenot-

Yes, you were informed correctly, Veronica. My second stroke. Three strokes and I'm out of the old ball game-

I don't need anyone to take care of me. Or weren't you offering?

I didn't think so. How's life on the tugboat? Any leaks in ship of love?

Give me one good reason why I should give you five thousand dollars to make your irresponsible, idle life one whit easier?

(Mary tries to take the phone from him but fails)

Oh, I'm well aware that I can't take it with me. However, that's not your business anymore.

I don't give a rat's ass what happens to your sinking boat, Ronnie. You should have thought about your old age before hitching up with that stud in tight jeans-

Dad, quit it. Mom doesn't deserve your vitriol. Let me talk with her-(once again tries to get the phone from him)

Well, can you beat that? She hung up on me.

When I go to see Mom I'll tell her you're sorry you were so rough with her-and you plan to give her the five thousand dollars

(knocks on door and calls softly) Dr Huguenot? Hugo- It's Norma. May I come in?

Yes, yes--come in. I'm not brain dead.

(Mary opens the door for Norma who enters cautiously) Hey-Norma great to see you. I thought you were in Europe- Please come in and keep Hugo company. I can't stand his grumbling another minute-

Thanks Mary. Hello Doctor. Are you up to seeing an old friend? I kind of miss your grumbling- (pulls a chair beside him) Don't worry, you'll be out of that wheelchair in no time.

I don't recall asking you for sympathy or medical advice. Furthermore, I thought you were in Belgium to sort things out-

Look, guys I'm leaving. Dad, you're in good hands. I'll be back at my apartment after ten- if you want anything-(kisses him on the cheek) Thanks for coming, Norma. He's really very happy to see you- (exits)

Why is it that you've returned to the land of the free? I can't believe it was only because you missed my wit.

We had to. The people at the Stoney Brook plant are threatening to strike- I'm glad we did or I wouldn't have heard about you.

A strike-- is it? That's the trouble the working class--they have no compassion for the ruling class. And to break it off, they have the gall to demand a living wage.

Stop pretending you're one of the working class--and wasting our precious time. Seriously, how are you doing?

You can see for yourself how robust I am- Next week I'll be starting physiotherpy. By Easter I'll be jazz dancing. And how are you? Pregnant yet or is ole Shep shooting blanks?

Not that it's any of your business,but it looks like Shepard's sperm lack motility. I guess, we just have to be patient. Let's talk about about you. I'm really happy you have this positive attitude about your stroke. You're lucky it didn't affect your speech-

Good golly,Miss Molly, I am lucky. My luck runneth over. (fakes a yawn) Nap time. Sorry but you'll have to leave-

Seriously, I hope I didn't tire you- (prepares to leave) I'll be here for a couple more weeks. Staying at my mother's. I'll give you her phone number-(writes it on a his desk calendar). You know me, if there's anything I can do to make your life easier just call.

I don't really know if I do know you--but thanks for caring. Give my regards to old Shep. And if he wants a sterility consult, I'll only be too happy- Of course--gratis.(closes his eyes pretending to sleep)

(Norma affectionately pats him on the shoulder and quietly leaves.)

Set, lighting, music should suggest a dream state.

Hugo, now recovered from his stroke, is typing. The wheelchair is pushed into the corner of the room. Ruben Schwartz and Hugo are seated side by side at twin desks typing on twin computers.

O.K.--listen to this: When we cried, "Abe, Abe,"--Abe heard our voice, saw our affliction, our toil and our oppression" How's that? Great so far. Right?

Plagairism.

If you think about it,everything's plagairism. O.K., I'm on a roll--listen, "And he brought us into this place and gave us this land--a land flowing with milk shakes and honeydew melon"-

You'll never win a contest using the ravings of ancient women hating pedophiles. Sam likes sock 'um in the gut writing. Listen, and you'll get the idea- "I know that I perceive nothing."

And that's supposed to get me on the right track? A whimpy variation on Socrates ain't never gonna win you no contest.

And you ain't never gonna win with that Uncle Tom imitation.

(enters floatingly. She's dressed in a filmy, peach-colored gown and tooting smething non-melodic on a piccolo. To this non-music she swirls about three times, slips the piccolo into the bosom of her dress. Takes a pomegranate from her pocket, holds it high above her head and twirls three times again. With ceremony, she extends the pomegranate to Hugo)

The sacred fruit, Brother.

Lilac, why the hell are you giving me that damn thing? It looks like a -what do they call them? --a granade?--a land mine?--you know that blows off the hands and feet and eyes of little children!

(to Lilac) I clearly asked for honeydew melon--not pomegranate. I was the requester--not Hugo.

Oh, I'm sorry. Just a clerical error. I'll fly back-

Oh, don't trouble. Let Hugo keep it.

I said I don't want the damn thing. (gives it to Ruben) Here, you seem to be fascinated-

(turning the pomegranate in his hand) It looks enchanted. (reads dramatically from his typing) "Every good tree bringeth forth good fruit of the womb. They spend their days in wealth, and in a moment--go down to the gray grave."

Convoluted rubbish. Get this- "Ah- but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruits and nuts."

Oh, Ruben, I just love what you wrote. Hugo you must know that Abe insists on originality. Ruben's is closest to the secret truth. I must leave. Is there anything I can get for either of you?

Condoms.

Shut your mouth. I never bought a condom in my life. What are you thinking of--and such a short time after your stroke?!"

After I quit urology, I became a board certified neurologist. I assure you, Lilac-Dawn, Hugo will be quite alright. The exercise, sexual intercourse,is actually good for his circulation.

So you call it "exercise." Well, if you say so, Ruben. I trust you. Listen to me, Hugo-- no prostitutes.

You both know damn well I never paid for sexual favors in my life. Girls loved it--even begged. My love-making is unique if I do say so myself--quite like a Balinese dance.

(laughs)Like a Balinese dance?! You're too much Hugo. quiet, please. I'm going to finish my essay on love and forgiveness.

(hugs Ruben) Sweet Ruben, the divine light surrounds you.

I don't see any light- but if he has a divine light, let's turn off the electricity. If you two dazzling ones will excuse me, I'm inspired to write some more- (rapidly types)

Good for you, Brother Hugo. Let me see what you're writing, (reads) "Thus he was diseased, fearful, bitter, hateful and old. And worst of all these was the spector of the end coming in a hotel for dying--called a horse-piss." Oh, honestly, Hugo--can't you be serious just for once?

Hugo, you described yourself- fearful, bitter, hateful and old. You see nothing. I quit. (stands- pulls his writing from the printer.)

Go. Go, both of you. You make me sick.

I am going, Brother--and I swear before God and Ruben that I will never abandon you.

(Hugo continues typing furiously and doesn't seem to notice that Lilac and Ruben leave holding hands like children)

Mid-day in Hugo's office. He sits with his back to the audience. Veronica sets out lunch on his desk. She wears a white, tailored shirt and blue denim skirt. Hugo wears a pale blue t-shirt and dark gray cotton slacks.

(unpacking a picnic hamper, recites)

Vitamins, Rhine wine, Camembert, turkey sandwich, Bosc pear, chocolate cake...Lenox plate, Waterford goblet, sterling silver knife and fork-- I hope you don't mind paper napkins- Wasn't this an inspiration? Mary says you're starving yourself-

(turns around)

Did you say chicken soup?

(ties the linen napkin about his neck)

No, dear- it's too warm today for chicken soup.

(seeing the setting and lunch for the first time)

Say, that's quite a spread. Does your tugboat captain know you're feeding your wicked ex? (sips wine)

He not only knows but he approves. Ours isn't one of those ugly possessive marriages- In fact, we aren't even legally married.

(takes Camembert on the knife and eats) I am lucky you have an open marriage. Does it also include sex therapy for a former husband?

I'll leave your therapy to Norma.

God only knows--or should I say-- the devil only knows- where the aforemention Norma lives now-(sips wine)

With a little effort You could find her. She probably thinks you don't want to see her- You know, Hugo, you never let Norma see your mad love for her-

(laughs) I wouldn't say simple lusting for her body was mad love- would you?

(begins eating the sandwich)

I admit that I used to have giddy fantasies. Do you know that Norma actually came to see me some time back--I suppose to show me how happy she is without me. I found her visit a tad cruel. The lucious part is that her husband, Shep's, having sperm problems. Hah!

Are you enjoying the lunch?

Scrumptious. God bless your tiny hands and sweet heart- Could we have a cozy lunch like this next week? (eating the chocolate cake)

I can't promise--but I know that I have to keep you healthy (jokes) to insure that my alimony checks keep coming. Right?

Ha ha--very funny-

Listen, I don't for one minute think that Norma came to torment you about her happy marriage.

(sips wine. throws his napkin down)

I wish you'd stop bringing up the name of that bitch into our conversation. She's responsible for my llness--deserting me just as we were about to finish our research-

(goes to file cabinet and begins taking out folders and throwing them onto the floor)

I'm going to cut her presence out of this office.

(holds up a page of writing)

Look at this- her tiny meticulous script-

(rips it into pieces and throws it into the waste basket)

I'm going to get rid of everything she ever touched. It'll be an exorcism sans priest.

(continues ripping and throwing away papers)

Christ, I feel emancipated--wonderful!

(Knocks at the door and quietly enters. Observes Hugo a moment before speaking)

Oh, I'm sorry. Are you busy?

Norma! How amazing- Speak of the devil--I mean angel-

(returns to his seat behind the desk) We just fnished lunch, Norma. Now I'm cleaning house. Come and tell us about your exciting life in the industrial cities of Europe-(Norma hesitates)

(bustling about, cleaning up traces of lunch)

I'll be out of here in two minutes.

For heaven's sake, Veronica--don't run off because of me-

Veronica must leave. She has a dental appointment in twenty minutes-

Well, if you really have to leave-

(assists Veronica throwing away crumpled paper napkins etc.)

(Finished with the tidying, gathers her lunch paraphenalia)

I'm leaving the wine. There's still at least two glassfuls left. Bye, both of you. Hugo, I'll call in a few days-

Ronnie, thanks for lunch. I hope you'll come back again next week with another of your fabulous lunches-

I'm not promising- (leaves)

(Looking at the papers and folders all over the floor)

What's happened here? A tornado? It doesn't look like house cleaning to me

You're right--it was a tornado. Pardon me a minute

(using phone on the desk)

Jerry, this is Dr. Huguenot-

So-so. How are you?

(Norma begins picking up the papers and folders- When she sees that they were about their sterility research project, she is puzzled and slightly disturbed)

Fine. Listen, I want you to write Veronica a check for six grand-

Yes- besides her alimony check.

(aside to Norma) my accountant-

Yeah, Jerry, I'm a real softy- They need money to repair their fuckin' leaky boat.

Bring it to the apartment tomorrow night along with all the rest of the papers I have to sign

(hangs up without saying bye)

(points to phone)

Norma, don't bother with that stuff on the floor- We have to leave a little work for our illegals. You don't have to say it--I know that I'm all heart. Come sit and tell the doctor why he's blessed with a visit from you.

Hugo, I don't understand- Are you quitting the project? (she pulls a chair next to him) Is it O.K. if I sit here?

Please. I find your proximity wildly intoxicating-

Stop fooling around Hugo. Actually, I'm here on a kind of embarassing mission-

Embarassing? Umm..sounds intriguing but I won't even attempt a guess-

I don't know how or where to begin.

Neither do I. Well, suppose I ask how your marriage garden grows-

I'm adjusting. It's more complicated than I thought but I'm assessing the institution of marriage objectively and practically.

(whistles and repeats) "objectively and practically"? Go on-

There are certain areas that I'm good at and I do those. Shep has other areas that he's good at and he does those. It's almost like a business parnership.

"A business partnership"? Dare we say that romance has fizzled and the thrill is gone?

Don't misunderstand--I still love Shepard.

The thrill is gone but you still love ole Shep. Why then I beg, have you darkened my door?

(almost stammering)We have a problem. Shepherd's sperm- well, the motility--and morphology--

And you never thought to come see me until now?

I'm sorry. Of course I thought of you--but Shep refused. We've been going to Dr. Norchin at the Medical Center and she has Shep taking all kinds of poisonous drugs and still no pregnancy-

Dr. Norchin?! You couldn't have found a less talented physician if you searched the world over. That woman should be a professional weight lifter-(pause) Why are you in such an all fired hurry to become a parent?

(knock at door)

(calls out) Don't come in-

(comes in- sees Norma- stops - smiles)

Norma! How perfect. We've all prayed that you'd come back to work. Without you he's made our lives absolute hell-

It's great to see you too, Ruben. How is everything--work, wife and children? And I'm very happy to say that I'm not returning to work with Hugo-

Excellent. The pleasantries are now over. Goodbye, Ruben.

I'll leave in a few minutes, Hugo. I just came to tell you that the judges have informed me that my essay is a runner up in the contest.

O.K.--mazel tov. You win--I lose. Norma and I are very proud of you. Now, if you don't mind--say goodbye-

Wait a minute, Ruben. What contest are you talking about?

(dismissive)The whole thing was very juvenile.

(goes to wheelchair- spins it around, sits in it and brings himself close to the desk.)

Norma, ignore him. This contest raised the question about the future of civilization as we doctors envision it-

(interrupts) A gross exaggeration. Please leave-

(enters. She's tooting a tarantella On her piccolo--them stops abruptly when she sees Norma)

You're back Norma. How marvelous!

(kisses Norma on the cheek)

Our family in God is united. Praise the Lord for his mercies!

(spins around singing la la la to the tarantella)

(moans, head in hands)

Lilac, why doesn't your good friend, God, leave me alone for a minute?

I better go before Hugo physically evicts me.

(starts for the door)

(hurrying towards Ruben)

Please wait, brother Ruben. I must give everyone my gift.

What gift? Does anyone see a gift?

(Ruben comes and stands beside Lilac-Dawn)

Please Hugo, can you possibly be quiet for one second- (to Lilac) Tell us about the gift, Lilac- Who is it for?

Thank you, sister Norma, thank you for subduing Hugo. It's not only for Hugo but for everyone in this room--really for everyone everywhere-

(stands and gently pulls Norma to standing)

O.K. Lilac- shoot. Your invisible gift for everyone in the world is fast losing its mysterious appeal-

My precious Hugo-(with emphasis) the answer to every problem is love. No discussion--not a word-- please.-

(takes Ruben's hand as before. They leave together as before)

Wow! I had no idea that your sister was so spiritual. Did you? (sits) I would like some of that wine- Do you have another glass?

Lilac has always been in and out of love with God. I have another glass but it's not a wine glass (silence) Do you want to talk about Lilac's invisible gift?

No need to discuss. I entirely agree with her- But it's hard not to fear love.

Did the three ring circus we were just witnessed make you forget your embarassing mission?

No. Can't you guess?

I know what I'd like it to be-

O.K. (pause) Hugo, will you be the father of my child? Do you understand what I'm asking?

(stunned a moment) I certainly do-(kidding) So, let's not waste a single second-

(begins undoing his pant's belt buckle)

(laughing) Hugo,cut it out!

(she smacks him with a journal lying on the desk)

Yes or no?

Absolutely--yes. Does Shep agree?

Shepherd says he loves me and wants what will make me happy.

That's what he says now- Suppose sometime in a delirium you murmur that I'm the father-- and he comes here in a rage waving an old Civil War sword-

Shep will never know. He assumes it'll be an artificial insemination by an unknown donor- It will be our secret--yours and mine.

(half fills a drink glass for Norma and the rest in his own glass)

Should we drink to a sucessful conclusion of our sterility research-- And-what else, Norma?

A brand new love baby. Are you O.K. with that?

I'm fine with that- drink up.